All of my life I have been an over-achiever. It was ingrained into the core of who I am to give it your very best ~ always.
The problem is that I took that to mean that I had to give EVERYTHING my very best and do so every minute of every day. That makes a person tired…very, very tired.
Who does that???? I’ll tell you: A crazy person does that. I never said I wasn’t crazy.
- Who does that and sustains some kind of normalcy in life?
- Who does that and maintains a strong sense of health and well-being?
- Who does that and simultaneously is cautious about their motives so as not to strive for perfection, seek after man’s approval, or develop a NEED to be the best at everything all the stinking time?
- Who does that and is seeking after God’s glory more than their own need to achieve?
Not this girl. I didn’t pull it off, friends. I mostly achieved my goals, and exceeded them in most instances, but the rest of the stuff went out the window. The important stuff.
And I’m paying for it now.
I have been working closely with the Lord in regard to this – for several years now. And just when I think I have let go of the need to achieve, I realize that without question, I am still hanging on.
- I still want to be the best at what I do work-wise.
- I still want to be the opposite of where I’m currently at fitness-wise – so bad I can taste it.
- I still expect myself to give it my best – the difference now is that my best stinks a lot of the time because of how much I have burned myself out.
I’ve also found that I added in an extra pressure-of-sorts and I didn’t even realize I had been doing it until today: On TOP of trying to learn to surrender my over-achiever nature to the Lord, I started to develop an over-achiever mentality in that very endeavor.
I wanted to over-achieve when it came to surrender. (Told ya….C-R-A-Z-Y)
Let me explain it better: Constantly failing at the surrender piece of things was causing me angst and pressure internally because I felt I was letting God down. I felt I wasn’t “doing well enough” at the surrender thingie. I wasn’t “achieving” my goal of not trying to be so much of an over achiever any more.
If that’s not an indicator that I have a problem, dear friends…well, I don’t know what is.
Here’s the deal: The flesh is strong. So is the mind and the heart.
I fail every day. I fail at trying not to fail. I fail at trying to be okay with failure. I fail at failing.
But I have already won because Christ gets me!!!
Jesus understands my little problems, my sinful nature, my “issues” – every last one of them.
And He loves me anyway. #beyondgrateful
So, instead of beating myself up for failing to relinquish control, failing to let go of being an over achiever, failing to “whatever”…today, I will just revel in the fact that my God understands me and wants the best for me.
And through the things that I am limited by right now, He will show His glory and might.
Through all that I cannot do, or fail to do right, or do too well (and self starts creeping in) and pick back up when I should be handing it over to Jesus, through ALL of THAT….God is in control.
And I believe that.
I have the fullest of faith in Him.
I know He has His plans and nothing I do or don’t do will stop Him.
He just wants for me to hand it over.
So this girl will continue to practice the beautiful art of waking up each day, and doing what I can, as I am moved by the Lord.
- If He moves me to try to get on a treadmill, I will do it, but lose the expectations of meeting some type of goal for now.
- If He moves me to let go of needing to exceed my results at work last month, and just be okay with doing a good job, I will do it.
- If He moves me to sit still and listen, I will do so.
But this crazy girl does need your prayers. #thanksinadvance
Do you find yourself realizing that you need to relinquish control over something, yet persevere at the same time, and you simply don’t know how? Do you find that God asks for you to surrender the need to achieve all the time, but you aren’t sure when to sit still and when to give something your all? You are not alone,dear friend. It’s about Him and not about us, and sometimes all we can do is ask Him to magnify that one thing in our lives…the knowledge that it is all about Him and the trust that He will help us gain clarity as we seek more of Him and less of us.
You are not alone.
- Let’s make our focus rest on Jesus, and not spend so much of our time trying to find our own perfect balance in how we should or should not be.
- Let’s focus in on Him each day and ask Him to guide our steps and our lives instead of making so many plans.
- Let’s give up being over achievers together and then watch God’s glory shine through it all!!! #BrighterbecauseofJesus
He has been waiting for it, after all. And He’s ready to embrace us in full if only we run to Him.
Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39