Grief: Bone cracking, heart wrenching, mind bending grief.
Grief: Life sucking, joy sapping, body shaking grief.
Felt down to the tips of your toes while simultaneously going in and out of a state of numbness. One moment here, the next – not sure where you are. One foot in? Or one foot out?
Nerve endings in places you never knew you had. Emotions that mere words, drawings, music, or other forms of human expression simply cannot describe.
Grief: Feeling the core of your soul being wrenched and prodded – kneaded like a big blog of dough.
Grief: No adequate words to offer, no adequate words to be able to fully receive.
A time in which prayer morphs into what it may have always been intended to be like for us all along: God simply reading our hearts.
A time where fuzzy is the new normal for a while and we finally accept that we simply cannot understand it all.
A time in which truly it is clear that only God can hold us together – thinly stiched as it may feel right now; like threads threatening to snap and fray that last little bit, threatening to send us into some kind of abyss.
Grief: Down to the last – the very last microscopic piece of who we think we are – what we thought we were made of and, finally, that moment of being fully surrendered and fully aware of just how much we need to be carried in the arms of the One true and living God. Carried – All. The. Time. 24/7.
Grief: Jesus knows it well. He knows grief.
Jesus knows suffering.
Jesus knows separation from the One that He loved most.
Jesus knows pain, unimaginable loss, betrayal, shock, overwhelming sadness, pain and trial.
Jesus knows it all and more. And HE offers the peace that surpasses all understanding through it all.
That Beautiful Savior of ours – our Jesus? He pieces us back together, heals us. In our brokenness He manifests the light that when we are “whole” we fail so often to even bother to see.
Darkness makes it easier to see the one small light in the distance. IF we keep our eyes wide open.
And then? He makes us stronger than we ever were before. Because He fills us with Himself. More of Him – and less of us.
And I DO believe: He weaves new pieces of Himself in as He puts us back together. We end up with more of HIS strength, HIS wisdom, HIS peace and HIS joy that trumps all emotions or experiences or circumstances than we ever thought possible before.
Sometimes grief opens the door we thought we swung wide open a long time ago even more. Even one more millimeter of openness to Jesus and remaining fully surrendered to Him and in His loving arms? That’s going to make a difference in our lives! Even when it comes as a result of the work He does in us during our grief. I guess that’s what it means when He tells us that “his strength is made perfect in our weakness.” Wow.
Grief: God’s opportunity to make us stronger through our pain.
Grief: Surrender and bravery seen through our tears. By HIM.
Tears provide cleansing. Tears provide purification. Tears provide reflection. If they are shed in His presence, they do.
Grief, oh grueling grief.
The only thing to do in such times is fix those eyes of ours upon Jesus and know that one day – we will get to see Him in His full glory. That day when there will be no more tears. That day when grief will no longer exist. That day we have the privilege, even during such heart wrenching times, to look forward to with the most blessed hope we could ever cling to.
Glorious Jesus! Comfort those in their grief and time of loss today with the comfort that only YOU can provide!
“The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18