If I Could I Would

photo credit http://www.creationswap.com Jose Fares

If I could I would….

Run a marathon…
Lose the last 15 and keep it off forever…
Blog full time for Jesus and not think about paying bills…
Go back to school for my masters degree…

If I could I would…

Freeze my kids right where they’re at…
Get mama and daddy back…
Love my husband even better…
Slow life down, but stay together…

If I could I would….

Visit the holy land…
Weep in Gethsemane…
Bow at calvary and the tomb…
Gazing outward, upward, eternally…

If I could I would….

Make sure every mouth was fed…
Every single heart is led…
To Him, our One, True HOPE…
Always waiting, living, expecting..

But should I? Could I? Would I?

Really would I?

What WILL I do?

How about you?

It’s not about woulda. It’s not about shoulda. And no, it’s not about coulda.

It’s about ARE ya?

Am I?

Am I really willing to follow after Jesus with all my heart, mind, and soul?

Am I wiling to look obsessed, crazed, face alienation, loss, sacrifice, even my own life if necessary?

Am I willing to follow – take up that cross and truly follow no matter what the cost?

ALL the way?

It’s easy to say yes because I have the intention of doing so. But I will never fully trust that I could not be the next Peter, depending upon the situation that may actually come before me.

I want to be a true follower after my Glorious Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ! I want to always be ALL the way in! I want it badly. It might be one of those…”careful what you pray for” things, but it’s right. It’s good. It’s truth. It’s BEST.

I prayed for a deeper love for others a couple of years ago. I got it, but I have been on a roller coaster ever since. I know it was good. I know it is exactly what He calls me to do. I know He answered my prayer and granted me a gracious gift that I never dreamed possible. Sure, there are times that it slips away, but I find that if I get right back down on my knees before Him and ask Him to purge my heart and refill it with His love, He delivers.

No…I can’t say we can reach a point where we “take up our cross” for once and for all, and it’s, just – done.

We have to do it again and again and again.

And if necessary, or if called to do so, we are to nail our hopes, dreams, our everything but our love for Jesus into that cross. We already nailed Him to that once. Why is it so difficult for us to nail the things of this world to it?

It’s worth it. He thinks so. He has, and continues to demonstrate it quite clearly.

We need to pray daily for the strength to do it, just as Jesus did it for all of us. We need HIS strength.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Matthew 16:25-26

We may not have to give everything up all at once like some of the disciples were asked to, but we need to be prepared to do so. I wonder how many of us can truly say that we are?

Jesus isn’t about “could I?”

He isn’t about “should I?”

And Jesus is not about “would I?”

Not when it comes to giving up of self and giving all for the sake of others.

Not when it comes to offering us the gift of eternal life with Him for His glory!

It’s not only not all about me, but it’s not even some about me. That’s how I know that I haven’t fully surrendered and will have to do this every day, sometimes even moment to moment, friends – because it’s still some about me.

It’s to be all about HE!!!!!!!!!!!

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” Matthew 16:24

Help us, Jesus. Help us to have the courage and the strength to truly be willing at all times to do whatever it takes to truly follow after you with all that we have, all that we are, all that You have given us. We know that You will equip us – it may not be easy, but we know You are faithful and love us. Most of all, we know this is for Your glory and is what is good. We pray that You will remind us not to forget to come to you every day, in every new situation, and ask for the strength we need. We thank you for sacrificing everything for US. Fill us with YOU. Help us make it all about YOU.

Jesus…YOU ARE.

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