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Lately, I feel like God is trying to tell me something really, really BIG.
I have been feeling this uneasiness inside…beyond the “normal” uneasy feelings that I have due to the roller coaster of life, changes going on all the time of late, and just all the pressing in I have been doing with the Lord in regards to purging out my yucky self and allowing more and more room for HIM.
No, this is aside from all of that. Or, in addition to it, I guess you might say. It’s driving me flat-out NUTSO! Looloo. To the crazy house.
For a while, I tried to just pray about it and plead and tell the Lord that I am open. Then, when the feeling became more intense, I decided that maybe He is teaching me to wait upon Him and His timing. So at that point, I decided to just keep doing what I’ve been doing and continue to listen for Him.
He is still speaking to me – that inner Spirit tells me things each and every day. But behind it all, after making sure it wasn’t just mind chatter, I still have this thing left that I am pretty sure is still from Him, but He has chosen not to yet reveal to me.
Or is that really the case?
See, what I am struggling with, is not that the thing is there, but that I am uncertain as to whether I am just not hearing it, or He is asking me to wait for it. That’s the crux of what’s bugging me today.
I truly don’t know, friends. I don’t know if I haven’t cleaned out my listening ears properly, if there’s something in the way (sin?) that I need to work on that I just haven’t figured out yet (in order to hear Him better), or if He is just asking me to exhale and wait with patience. Could He be asking me to find peace in the uneasy of it all? It’s very possible.
My conclusion for the day is that there is no answer. All of these things could be possible. But little old Annie has a big thing in there that is screaming to get out. Either that, or it isn’t really begging to come out yet, but I am attuned to it and know it’s there…so my control-freak of a self is fighting against the not knowing.
What I do know is that God knows all. He doesn’t need for me to know more than I know right now.
But I do want oh, so badly, to be a good listener. And I am praying for that from the most sincere place in my heart that I possibly can.
Do you ever feel like God is trying to tell you something pretty big and you are trying too hard to hear? Do you ever feel like maybe you aren’t listening well enough? Funny how that happens, no?
I guess all we can do is to continue to pray, seek Him, trust that He will reveal to us that thing if we are right that something’s there, and keep Him close through it all.
I think my ears are cleaned out – but just in case, this old gal is going to take a shower, get squeaky clean, and let the rain of His word pour down upon her tonight.
That’s more cleansing than any Q-tip could ever be!
My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27-28
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Eyes Wide Open 
I am praying for you to hear from the LORD tonight and that you may have the peace that passes all understanding. Love you dear Annie!
Sometimes the Spirit directs us to something in our lives the Lord would have us put off and we just aren’t willing to give it up. And sometimes He’s hinting at something we should put on, and we aren’t wiling for that. I’ve fought battles in both those areas.
But otherwise, if the channel is open (our part) and we’re willing to do what He asks, direction from God will flow through in His time. Or, as my friend, poet Margaret Penner Toews, wrote:
“Can you change the sunset colors? Can you halt the wind that blows?
Can you with the force of fingers open up a budding rose?
Can you coax a leaf’s unfolding, or with effort, settle dust?
All require two components: one is Waiting; one is Trust.”
Its very difficult to quiet ourselves enough to hear him but its very important to do so. Often lately I find that when I get on my knees, our enemy attacks. He doesn’t want us to pray so he throws us curve balls. That’s when we must pray harder. Satan is on the attack now more than ever. Fight back with all you have. Much love to you.
Dear friend, you’re not alone. Sometimes I wear my knees out trying to hear what He’s trying to tell me. Recently I had a major issue, well, what I thought was a major issue and I hit the floor crying and praying. I felt so alone and wondering why He was letting this happen. My selfish side was blocking the blessing that comes with problems. I was so drawn in to despair over the problem that I completely block Him out of my hearing. It wasn’t until I finally just sat down in silence with Him and gave it up to Him. That’s when the peace I’d been waiting for washed over me. I realized that nothing is beyond Him and He knows just how far to carry us. That peace got me through the bad time and beyond it a more dedicated Christian. Sometimes we just need to sit in silence and open up. If it’s in His time to let you know He will.
Be patient and know He’s with you. He’s holding on to you and you’re going to be fine. One day it will just be so simple you’ll laugh. Sometimes the answer is right in front of us, but we block it out with the walls life puts up. I’ll pray that your ears open up to Him and that the feelings calm soon. Know I’m here and have a great ear sweet friend.