How many of you out there have taken a leap of faith when you were really uncertain as to what to do? Even after seeking guidance, asking God to open doors, asking what “leap” He wants you to take, you still didn’t quite know, so you just left it alone for a while. But then the nudging continued; the deep feeling you still needed to “just do it” stuck with you? And then…… you just had to decide. One way or the other, you had to decide.
Here is the kind of leap I am not talking about:
- After seeking the Lord and His will diligently, He makes it clear you need to change something pretty significant – you have no idea what all the ramifications of the change will be, but He is asking you to trust in Him. After quite some time, He suddenly opens a door and you know it’s from Him. You run right through that door and just trust Him to take care of the rest of it.
Here is the one I AM talking about:
- After seeking the Lord and His will diligently, He makes it clear He wants you to do something different than the way you have been. He brings, after a lot of prayer, a change your way – you embrace it and don’t even hesitate, even though the outcome is still unknown as to how it will affect everything or what it may or may not lead to. But there’s still something else in there that you feel He wants you to change as well, yet you aren’t sure what the right thing is to do. You seek His answers, or guidance on this, and….nothing. You decide to wait because God’s timing is different than ours, and waiting and perseverance are a way to trust in the Lord as well. But the nudging turns into a knocking, and even borders on a pounding. It grows every single day. It’s starting to drive you crazy. You pray for help with that too – ha ha.
I would like to hear your stories, if you are willing to share. I would love to hear what bible verses you turn to for the Lord’s direction in these situations as well. I look upon this as a way of seeking wise counsel from others who walk with the Lord….those who have been there…..those who saw failures from not leaping, and those who saw great growth. Those who saw failures from going ahead and leaping, when it turned out to be a bad idea, and still saw God’s mighty hand at work in it all.
You know, I get the whole, “don’t go by what the world says to do” thing. I get that God will take care of me, my family, as long as I truly trust in Him. But there is something to be said too, isn’t there, for trying to obey Him by making wise choices? Seeking counsel is a part of that. This is what He has led me to do again today.
Friends, I have this nagging feeling I am supposed to step out even more in a particular area – one that is quite scary – one that may leave my family and myself in a situation financially that is not pretty at all. We have it good – we are not rich by any means, but we have it good. My primary job is a good job. The people are wonderful, the pay is beyond wonderful, and the insurance benefits are just….WOW. It is a dream come true in this economy to have the job I have outside of the church. It’s a good place to work. Most people would get teeth pulled without pain killers for a job like this one.
I have done this for ten years, and I have no problem with the job itself – a job is a job, and we can do all kinds of work unto our Lord….doesn’t matter what it is. Unfortunately, this job entails me working at night. Although I am a night owl and always have been, working past midnight, every night for 10 years, well…it wreaks havoc on one physically, and even emotionally at times as well.
I am not complaining, but I am saying that in all reality, with the way life was when our children were smaller, this night job was a blessing that I know God provided to my husband, my family and myself. But I feel He is calling me (loudly) to something else. I feel He is calling me to stop the night job. I feel He is calling me to move back as deeply as I can into ministry – through this blog, through another online ministry I am a part of, through volunteer service at the church, and through my new part time job I was blessed with there too. Most of all, through being able to actually be a mom and wife again who actually makes dinnner sometimes, and gets into more of a regular sleep pattern. Through being able to have some fellowship time with other believers. Through a lot of stuff, my friends…a lot of stuff.
There is a TON more to this story, and God has had His hand upon us every step of the way. But, I still just don’t know if He is calling me out of that job now, or is wanting me to be still and wait. Ug!
Another little wrench I can throw in there for you: He opened the door for me to work at the church (very much only part time, for now at least) and I am so grateful for that – I ran through that door with the blessing of my husband and many others along with God’s! I know I am supposed to be there, I have no doubt. Although I would like to do that full time, right now that isn’t part of the plan, and that’s okay. So yes, this allows me to keep the part time night job, and this role at the church too – good news, right? But I don’t feel that way about that night time job. I am sooo conflicted…ug!
I feel like it would be irresponsible – but I know I am thinking in terms of the world’s standards in that. Sometimes, I feel like I am being ungrateful to even entertain the idea of still leaving the night job (high paying, awesome insurance benefits, good people) when the Lord provided a way for me to keep it and step into the role with the church. I mean, how much greener could the grass get?
So…here is the burning question. If one has been in prayer for quite some time, is looking to Him for guidance, seeking His will, spending time in His word and spending time with Him, persevering, being open to change according to His leading…..well, what is one to do when there is not a clear cut answer as to whether to close a particular door? There is value in waiting upon the Lord. There also is value in stepping out in faith in the Lord. Which one does He want for us to do here?
As far as open doors? They are over the place, friends. And my husband and I are committed to walking right through them if God leads us that way. But, this one, the night job one? He hasn’t closed it….yet. Is He asking me to close it? Or, is it possible that this is one of those things where God is giving me the choice – either way. Maybe He doesn’t see it as me defying His will in any way, because He hasn’t told me otherwise. And either choice I make, will be a way to show Him obedience – trust in Him – have more faith in Him.
These are the things I grapple with today, and every day for the last year. It seems to be getting more difficult. And that is what makes me think that He is trying to tell me something very important – and maybe, just maybe, He isn’t going to tell until I make a choice. Because I think that I have been listening…..but maybe, I just don’t like the way the answer is coming out.
I know we are to look to God for our answers – to our faith in Him, in His word, and ultimately, that is who we are responsible to for all this. I know too that ultimately, I need to listen and go with what I feel He wants based upon what He is or isn’t telling me. Yet, He tells us to seek wise cousel -some of which, we have already sought and are grateful for. I am now reaching out to hear from others who walk in Christ. Please share, my friends.
Desire of my heart? Stop working at night part time at the other job- put my all into working at the church, serving at the church, and this ministry and community I have here with all of you. Write a book for Jesus. Trust God to provide and tell me what my part in that should be. Take steps to make changes in our lives so we can make it financially. Stop worrying about insurance and letting it stop me from doing what I am pretty sure I am being led to do. Be the best follower of Christ I can be, the best mother and wife I can be, and put my all into what I am graced with being a part of in these other areas.
Concern? That I might be following only the desires of my little heart without even knowing it, were I to make that choice. That we all have to do things we don’t feel led to do any longer. That there is a lot to be said for how the Lord asks us to be obedient, to do things that are hard for us, to persevere, to be patient. And there is even more to be said for being grateful.
Really, Really Big Concern? That, like I often do, I am overthinking this whole stupid thing, and God is really displeased with me for that. Ha Ha. I know it’s no laughing matter when it comes to God, but I laugh at myself right now – I just can’t help it. He knows me.
Regardless of what we choose, my husband and myself – I know this: God has us in His hand and under His wing. He knows we are simply seeking His will in this area. And I know my entire family – we will all be in this together with God’s help. I guess the worst thing that happens if we just make a decision to take the leap is that we go through some hardship that could have been avoided- and God works through that too, doesn’t He?
Yes, the nudging I was feeling has turned into a pulling, friends. I am realizing this as I write to you this very moment: That I have been telling God I am willing to take some steps that seem like they don’t have a certainty about them – ’cause, hey, for me, that is a leap! I have always been someone who played everything the wise and safe route in life, and a lot of that was due to a lack of faith. And I feel this pulling to leap into the unknown – I just don’t really trust where it’s coming from – God, Me, or the Devil. I’m going to go with God.
I guess, in a way, wondering if I am being deceived is still just me not having enough trust in the Lord, isn’t it, friends? For if it were coming out of some selfish motivation and intention that I won’t be made aware of for a year or two down the road, can’t I trust Him enough that He will still carry us through even that? That He will teach me how I went wrong and grow me/us through that?
Oh well…I shall be still now and be quiet. Have I driven you utterly crazy yet? I will be stepping away from the blog for the rest of the day. I hope some of you can share your stories with me. I get to go do my first shift at the church tonight, so I am excited about that. Thank you, Jesus!
Please pray, my friends….I so appreciate you, your prayers, and I just know the Lord will speak to me through your stories. I also am feeling pretty strongly that He has already given me His answer. 🙂
Love, Annie B 🙂
I quote from Isaiah 43: 1-2 is an assurance from God – I think this is our answer:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you,
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you ;
And when you pass through the rivers,
They will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be burned;
The flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel , your Saviour.”